ive never really felt like i could not complete a semester until now. until this afternoon, in my 3rd class of the semester, where i stopped writing and started tying knots. started questioning what i am actually going to have to do every day if i do finish this damn semester. for the rest of my life, every day, filled with this bull shit kind of discussion of feeling and ethic. so yes, i am dragging my feet. i have been rude and rolled my eyes and refuse to participate. but im losing that certainty and i certainly have the right to slow things down for myself. 

my visual note for this week created a schism in myself i hadn’t seen coming. i havent worked on it since. actually seeing what i have been feeling for 3 years, literally looking back at me with bagged eyes was exciting, but

i cant blame it on the weather or the boys or the drinks or the divorce or the anything. i dont know where this leaves me.  

1. littlemolars posted this